Beautiful Alone
by Kitsune no Miko
Summary: An Inu-Yasha songfic I wrote - takes place at the end of manga volume 8, but anytime after that would work as well. Inu-Yasha turns full human at that time of the month and decides to visit Kagome.


Beautiful Alone

**                                          Beautiful Alone**

_     ~an Inu-Yasha songfic~_**utiful** Alone 

_Toge no aru kotoba dake     Bitter words_ _Kono machi wa utsushiteru itsumo     Are all this city has to show_                                        

_  Meguri-au hito nagareru                                And the crowds blindly brushing by_

_ _

Kagome stared absently out the classroom window. She had gone to her own time, in spite of Inu-Yasha's protests, wanting to get rid of him, but to no avail. He kept haunting her thoughts. 

She could see the daylight moon, pale and faint against the sky. 

_It'll be the new moon tomorrow night. Inu-Yasha's powers will be gone… I wonder what he will do. If I was there, he'd still watch over me and Shippou-chan… he didn't even call losing his powers a weakness. He just said to call it his secret._

_                 Shinjitara kuzuresou                If you believe, beliefs will crumble_

_                                              Fuan dake dakishimeru hibi yo       In these anxious days_

_                                                  Moshi mo koko ni anata ga         But if you are here_

_                                                   Itara hanasenai no ni               I wil not let you go_

_ _

The bells rang and she walked to the Higurashi Shrine, her home. Her mother was talking amiably to somebody; she expected to see a concerned Houjou with some small get-well gift for her 'ailments'. Both stood when they heard her enter, and instead of Houjou, Kagome found Inu-Yasha there.

"Inu……yasha……"

"Nothing's going on, so I came here. When the day after tomorrow comes, I'll leave."

Kagome's mother smiled. "He seems like a nice boy, despite the obvious – your grandfather and Sota were quite enthusiastic about having him around. Hair's a little long though, but it's not like he's a boarder, and he'll be SURE to behave in THIS house… aren't I right?"

That earned Inu-Yasha a disbelieving look from Kagome, along with the inevitable word.

"SIT!"

_Tokei no oto ni oi-kakerareru Let the tick of the clock pursue me_

_                                          Wasureru koto de kyou no hi wo       But I will live all of today_

_                                               Boku wa ikite iru yo                   With what I forgot of before_

_ _

The next day –

"Kagome-chan! Going straight home again?"

"Let us come with you! I want to buy some charms from the shrine anyway!"

Kagome sweatdropped, but the girls ignored it and continued to the Higurashi Shrine. She lagged slightly behind, imagining all too well an irate Inu-Yasha yelling at them and her own words coming back to haunt her. She could even see the annoyance and disdain mixed in his expression.

"Ne, Kagome-chan?" One of the girls pointed to the shrine courtyard. "Who's that guy sweeping? He's cute."

She looked. They were pointing to a guy with a bamboo hat (to cover his doglike furred ears) over his long white hair (even though it was beginning to streak with black), sweeping with his back turned to them. "He's just passing through town… I… um… forgot his name. Yeah, I can't remember his name."

But she waved anyway as the other two girls called "Ne, onii-san, konnichiwa!"

Inu-Yasha spun around to find the two girls – also dressed in the 'weird clothes' Kagome wore – and Kagome giving him a Significant Look. The "I-can-say-sit-if-you-don't-behave" Look. And he had enough sense to look down at the courtyard floor, for his demonic eyes would probably frighten them and he'd have back pains lasting weeks. 

"Kon.. nichiwa…" 

Memories of being with Kikyou resurfaced, and he was able to smile, though slightly. The girls giggled and clucked about his shyness, then went back to their conversation. 

_Kikyou, we led similar lives… I was never accepted in the world of humans or that of demons. And you, you had those mystical powers only to protect and purify the Shikon Jewel…_

_ _

_Anata to boku to no sabishisa wo      Your and my loneliness_

_Kasaneru you ni shite kuchizukeru   Presses heavily like a kiss_

_       Futari ga itameta kizuato ga   The scars of being together_

_Utsukushii wakare wo tsugeru darou   Tells us of a beautiful parting_

_ _

"So, onii-san, what do you think?"

Inu-Yasha blinked in surprise. "About what?"

"What kind of girls do you like?"

Kagome had that just-before-a-"sit" expression again, so his confused look remained.

"Really, onii-san, tell us!"

There was going to be no way to get them to stop. 

"I like… a girl who is able to see the good that other people can't see in a person. That can see the positive side… knows what the other person is feeling or must be going through. I like girls like that." _If only they knew how true that was…_

He looked at Kagome then, to see her expression, but she had turned so that he could not see her face. The other girls had gone back to their conversation, giggling now and then, and both he and Kagome were quiet.

"It's getting late, I think you two should be going home," Kagome muttered after a few moments, and the girls left.

Dinner was oden, which seemed heavenly to Inu-Yasha (who wouldn't have minded eating some of that 'ramen' stuff Kagome brought with her occasionally). Usually the evening meal was whatever he could steal, ever since Sesshoumaru took his lands and position when he was younger.

_"I'm a full demon and the firstborn son! I'm only taking what is rightfully mine!"_

Those statements had spurred the search for the Shikon Jewel. The power of it could turn him into a full demon.

_"…yet you want to use some of your power to protect Lady Kagome. Do you think that will happen, if you become a demon? What will stop you from destroying her and Shippou?"_

"Um…excuse me…" Inu-Yasha gingerly set his bowl down, got up, and walked out to the shrine courtyard. Twilight had fallen, coloring his now-black hair with a mixture of colors and casting shadows upon the old tree that stood near the shrine. The old tree – and Kagome – were the only things in this time that were familiar to him.

_Nayamashii yoru dake ga    Only the melancholy night_

_Ai no kage shitte iru kitto   Understands the shadow of love_

_Michikakeru tsuki wo samayou   With the moon to guide us, we fall astray_

_ _

"Oi, Inu-Yasha." The voice of Kagome's grandfather shook him out of the self-indulgent reverie. "The bath is ready. You're the guest, so you can use it first."

"The bath… hm. Thanks, old man – I mean…"

"Don't worry about it."

_Eien ga owattara              If even forever can end_

_Munashisa ni tsutsumareru sotto    Then futility surrounds us, gently_

_Sora ni kieru tsubame wo    If only I could have the wings_

_     Tsubasa boku ni attara                Of the swallow disappearing in the sky_

_"Go ahead and leave! I can fight the way I want when you're gone!"_

Inu-Yasha sank into the water, shoulders slumped. His time was dangerous, with so few comforts available like the ones in Kagome's true time, here. Perhaps it was better if she were never to come back – if she was never to be with him again. Kagome would be safe that way. 

_I don't want to see another woman die…. _

_ _

_Shizuka na ame ni yasashiku yureru   Swaying in the gentle, quiet rain_

_Nani ka wo motome sono kawari    I seek something, and in exchange_

_                                                         Boku wa ai wo nakusu       I'll set aside even love_

_ _

Like the pleasant shock of the hot water, another thought hit him full force. The spell that turned the love between himself and Kikyou into equally strong hatred… when he had finally seen through the spell, he refused to admit the truth. He did not want any pity, especially from Kagome. But…

_Kikyou died the same day she trapped me. She went peacefully into death, the Shikon Jewel burned with her – had she wanted to follow me into death? Was Kagome right? Had she preferred death rather than live without me for fifty years, even though I was such a selfish, violent jerk that didn't know any better…? _

_Anata to boku to no kanashimi wo         Your and my sadness_

_Itawari-au you ni dakishimeru       Hurts like a tight embrace_

_Futari ga nozoita omoide ga         And the memories of us together_

_Utsukushii kodoku wo egaku darou       Paint a beautiful loneliness_

_ _

A selfish, violent jerk, indeed. 

Inu-Yasha knew his heart was human. He just did not want to show it; after all, in his world, one mistake and a human or a demon could kill you. The only ones who truly knew how his heart could be were Kikyou… and Kagome. 

_Anata to boku to no sabishisa wo   Your and my loneliness_

_Kasaneru you ni shite kuchizukeru   Presses heavily like a kiss_

_Futari ga itameta kizuato ga        The scars of being together_

_Utsukushii wakare wo tsugeru darou   Tells us of a beautiful parting_

_ _

But the next day, Inu-Yasha regained his demon powers, and Kagome found him at the other side of the well, in the Sengoku-jidai. "Back to hunting for shards of the Shikon Jewel, you worthless idiots! And you, kitsune, no shape-shifting tricks!"

Shippou looked at him. "Who died and made YOU emperor, Inu-Yasha?" 

"Shut up!"

Kagome gave an exasperated sigh, but when she caught Inu-Yasha's eyes, she could see a hint of what was behind that façade. 

And so their journey continued.

            


End file.
